A Decade In Review

Since it’s the start of a new decade, I can’t help but reminisce and look back to the last 10 years, both to see how far I’ve come and to remind myself of how far I need to go. 

I’ve always been open about sharing with you guys how I grew up in poverty and the reasons why want to achieve financial independence. If you haven’t read that post yet and you’re curious, go to Why I Want to FIRE – A Personal Tale of Early Woes and Awesome Wins. Despite my disadvantaged background, I worked hard to get out of poverty, slowly built a positive net worth and amassed a respectable investment portfolio that’s consistently growing.

Getting to the starting line

One of the hardest things a person who experienced generational poverty – meaning generations of your family have been in poverty – is to arrive at everybody else’s starting line

 

If you’re in poverty, it’s not just you who’s poor, it’s everyone in your family. So if you were lucky enough to get an education and find a well-paying job, you will be expected to help with the family finances. Your parents will expect that you will send your siblings to college, give a higher contribution to home expenses, and help random family members who find themselves in emergencies. The list goes on and on. 

 

And yes, this is still true even if you’re already married and/or already have a family of your own. In family-centric countries like the Philippines, it is virtually impossible not to help your family when you’re already earning money. This was and is still true for me. As one of the first few members of my clan to go to college (at a prestigious private university at that – thank you, athletic scholarship! ), not only did everyone expected that I help out, I expected myself to help out. 

 

I consider getting to zero as one of the major highlights of my decade. And it took me **only** 10 years. 

 

I was only able to get to zero net worth by the middle of the 2010s. Before that I was only able to juggle all my filial responsibilities, raising a son with my then-partner, and working towards improving my career and credentials by job-hopping between call centers, always looking for a higher salary and better benefits and going into debt through personal loans and credit cards. 

 

For almost a decade after graduating from college, I was never able to hold more than Php 50,000 in my account for more than a week. There was always something that needed to be paid, replaced, and bought. 

 

I was always so defeated and believed I would be better off if I max my credit cards and then just pay what I owe the bank. I thought that at least when I’m forced to pay the bank, I would be able to buy something for myself instead of the money just disappearing to pay the never-ending pile of bills. 

 

What got me out of negative net worth? 

 

Ready for the secret? I… got a job with a much higher salary than what I was earning before. 

 

Sorry to those who were looking for a magic solution to this problem, but there really is none. 

 

Don’t believe the hacks that tell you that “it’s not how much you earn, it’s how much you keep” if you’re beginning from below zero. That’s a filthy and dangerous lie. If you’re earning minimum wage or even higher but only barely enough to cover all your expenses, you won’t be able to keep much, would you? And what you keep is probably going to be needed tomorrow to pay for an emergency that inevitably comes up somewhere. That advice only works for those who have no other responsibilities apart from their responsibilities to themselves. That’s some burgis sh*t. 

 

How do I feel about people who are not expected to help their families once they have jobs? Jealous

 

You guys probably haven’t experienced thinking of throwing yourself in front of an MRT in Guadalupe station during rush hour because you’re so tired and scared of all the responsibilities and of falling short. 

 

You probably sleep well at night without feeling a huge boulder on your chest stopping you from breathing. You also probably don’t wake up in a cold sweat, scared what will happen if you suddenly die (and leaving everyone without financial support, or worse, with debt). 

 

If you had negative net worth all your life, having peace of mind is one of the most beneficial side effects of getting to zero net worth.

Slowly building wealth

The 2010s was the decade when I started to acquire assets. I previously shared my January 2019 net worth and my July 2019 net worth in this blog. 

 

I think I’m entitled to feel proud of myself for getting from negative net worth in 2010, to zero net worth by the middle of the decade, and to having US$ 100,000 by the end of 2019. I got from poor to hundred thousand-nair in the last decade. 

 

For me, key to slowly building wealth are:

 

  • Making sure my siblings finished college, which both of them did. In theory, this should mean that after college, I should not be expected to help them financially. Plus, I get to hold this fact against them forever. 😀 To this day, my sister still gets teary-eyed when she remembers how hard we had it when I was still sending her to the University of the Philippines in Los Baños. I jokingly tell her that she’s part of my retirement plan. 
  • Always making sure that my financial house is in order. I have a full emergency fund and have proper health and life insurance coverage. I won’t be in a position to help anybody if I’m sick or goes back to poverty due to sickness.
  • Ensuring that the parents keep healthy. This is crucial for me because my father suffers from clinical depression and both of my parents have accumulated pains and illnesses over the years. Of course, since I cannot monitor them all the time, there will be times when they will skip buying medication or going to the clinic for tests because they think they are saving me money. 
  • Don’t get into debt again. This has been a challenge for me, not because I personally got into debt, but because my parents, due to their bad judgment (calling a spade a spade – it was bad judgment on their part) acquired a huge debt in the past couple of years. They were lucky that I was in a position to get them out of a bad situation in time and help pay. Instead of being able to use that money to improve their lifestyle, they’re using it to pay off unnecessary credit card debt.
  • Not join any get rich-quick schemes or buy overly risky investments like cryptocurrency or stock day trading. 
 

These are things I do to keep from sliding back to negative net worth. If like me, you belong to a family whose members are not financially literate, you’d better monitor them like a hawk so that they can’t destroy your plans and bring you down. 

 

On the other hand, for asset acquisition, I am fortunate that my employer offers a provident fund for retirement, wherein they match my retirement contribution. I also keep investing simply, mostly following the Boglehead philosophy:

 

  • One portion of my portfolio is invested in Philippine index funds, specifically, in First Metro ETF (ticker: FMETF). If you want to read and learn about the best index funds to buy in the Philippines, read my post, The Ultimate Guide to Philippine Index Funds.
  • Another portion is invested in Vanguard’s S&P500 ETF through my TD Ameritrade account. If you also want to open an online brokerage account in the US, read How to Open a TD Ameritrade Account Outside of the USA
  • I max out my annual PERA contribution. I started contributing in 2017. I’m scared of growing old in poverty.
  • Not part of the Boglehead philosophy but crucial to my peace of mind, I have 3 real estate properties: a simple low-cost row house outside of Manila where my parents live and 2 condominium units. 1 condo unit is already being rented out and is paying for itself (and more). The other unit I just acquired last December (so it can still be considered part of my 2010s acquisition). 
  • A smaller portfolio of blue-chip stocks which I keep for dividends.
  • A couple of small investments on friends’ businesses, because their businesses are fun and I believe in their vision and business skills. 
 
 
As you can see, I want to keep my investments simple. I only have so much time, energy, and attention to allot for my investments so I don’t make it overly complicated. I don’t invest in cryptocurrencies, I don’t day trade stocks, I don’t trade in foreign exchange. I don’t want to spread out my attention to a lot of investment vehicles in the hopes of eking out an additional basis point in returns. 

 

In addition to these, I also keep a separate portfolio for my son’s college fund. Even when I had negative net worth, my son’s college account had money in it. So there was a time when my child had more money than me. Since it has been my experience that a college education will lift you out or poverty and set you up for life, if you let it, I am meticulous in making sure that if I die, my son will have more than enough money to go to college and even beyond. Even abroad if he chooses to. His college fund is divided into:

 

  • Vanguard Total Index ETF; and
  • Philippine index fund with First Metro ETF
 
And because I’m a paranoid mother, I have a couple of term insurance policies in the Philippines and in Korea, in case political and/or economic disturbance happen in either country and the insurance company cannot pay.
 
 
And of course, giving my child a great head start in life is part of my retirement plan. Not because I want him to finance my old age. It’s because I don’t want to be spending my retirement money on him. I will have places to go to and grandchildren to spoil. 

Building a great career

At the beginning of the decade I was working in a call center. I shifted to another career path around the middle of the decade, which paid more. That’s how I was able to get out of negative net worth and finally achieve zero net worth. 

 

If you’re a work colleague (I know some of you are reading this, heeeeeeey!) you’re probably surprised by my previous financial situation. 

 

I’m so thankful (to myself) for powering through and  sticking to my goal of landing a spot in my current workplace. Not only was I able to turn my life around, I actually find satisfaction in my current career. It’s challenging and I make a difference. And although my goal – which I chronicle in this blog – is to achieve financial independence AND early retirement (FIRE), I have actually no reason (yet) to retire early.

 

I have so many career goals that I want to meet by the end of this decade. 

 

And because I want to reduce my risks, I’m also developing alternate careers. I read in the book The Start Up of You written by Linked in co-founder Reid Hoffman, that you should be constantly developing your career and managing it like a start-up business. You should develop plans B, C, and even beyond. 

 

Right now I can’t share with you what my current career is and what alternate career plans I’m considering, but at least let me share that one of them involves being in the personal finance/finance space in some capacity, either by continuing this blog and monetizing it, working with brands and other collaborators, or being a television (or at least YouTube) talking head. 

Ichan Qala in Khiva
I own 51% of this damn ancient city! (At Ichan Qala in the old slaving town of Khiva, Uzbekistan)

Fulfilling childhood dreams

During the latter half of the 2010s, I was able to fulfill some of my childhood dreams. 

 

One of them is building a kick-ass collection of books. Well, ever since I started working I’ve already been buying books I liked, but those were mostly in mass paperback editions. Now that I have more disposable income, I’m building a collection of books that I can pass down to my child and his children (at least that’s how it works in my fantasy). I have a great collection of hard-bound books from Folio Society, including some limited editions and first editions of Salman Rushdie books (I’m a huge Rushdie fan).

 

Much more mind-blowing for me is that I was able to travel to places that I’ve only read about in history books. I was able to travel to Angkor Wat, which overwhelmed me to the point of tears (I have a dramatic streak) and do yoga retreats in Bali, like Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love. I started the 2010s by being able to (barely) afford doing Filipino burgis stuff and I ended the decade graduating to doing white, rich woman stuff. 😀 

 

I did a Silk Road tour where I visited ancient cities, both still living and already in ruins, in Iran, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan. I also climbed the Machu Picchu, ate alpaca meat and went island hopping in Lake Titicaca, and saw the Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia. Traveling in a new place where I don’t speak the language and there’s a hint of danger just makes me feel so alive.

 

I have always suspected that the world is so much larger than my limited childhood circumstances showed me. Traveling confirmed it. I plan to travel more in 2020s. 

 

I know that if I didn’t travel I would’ve saved and invested more. I would’ve been closer to reaching my financial goals. But I also believe in living in the present as long as your financial house is in order. I would not be able to do these kinds of trips when I hit my 50s or 60s. I need to do them when I ‘m physically able and the place is (relatively) peaceful. I don’t know what the future holds. 

 

And in a way I think traveling is a kind of investment in myself. I have always wanted to understand the world; by traveling, I get a glimpse of what’s happening in the wider world and how it affects me and mine. As a humanist, traveling strengthens my belief in the capacity and magnificence of humanity.

A Decade In Review 2
A field trip in Seoul Grand Park Zoo

Parenthood

I became a mother barely out of college so that means my child is now in his teens. Being a young single mother with responsibilities as heavy as mine, it would’ve been easy and maybe even understandable if I caved in and just gave up on life. But my natural ambition and my will to provide a great future for this amazing little human being drove me to work hard to get where I am now and to achieve my personal dreams. 

 

I wanted 2 things: I want this little boy to not be encumbered by an impoverished family and I want to show him that he can achieve anything he puts his mind into. So far I think I’m getting there. 

 

Of course my priority is to make sure that he’s healthy, happy, and become a contributing member of society. Everything else is just gravy. At least that’s what I tell him to his face hahaha. I actually want him to achieve so much more and fly higher that I ever did and ever will. 

 

My ex-partner and I look at our son and we marvel at how privileged he is compared to us, but we won’t have it any other way. Sometimes I worry that he won’t develop the grit and desperation that drove me because of the comparatively easy life he has. But then, I remember that in his way, my son is preparing himself for a great and fulfilling future. 

 

He learned how to play different kinds of guitars in a span of a few months, consistently practicing alone, with his friends, and with his father. He’s very serious about his writing, seeking a mentor in his school, attending writing workshops, and actually writing. He’s becoming an awesome Dungeons and Dragons dungeon master (DM). He’s able to have meaningful and close friendships with kids of different genders. He’s a weird combination of conservatism and liberal mindedness.

 

It’s showing differently, but I see traces of myself in this kid. But he’s gentler, more philosophical, more thoughtful (he literally spends time just sitting around to think), and more introverted than me.

 

Being an OFW living and working away from the Philippines and my son, I don’t get to be with him and support him 24/7. I’m lucky that my son’s father (my ex-partner) and the rest of our families are there to support him. You may be surprised that as a mother, I have zero regrets about leaving my son in the Philippines. Sadness yes, regrets no. It’s not as if we can’t afford to travel to see each other.

 

Plus, unlike before when the only way for people to communicate over long distances is through expensive telephone calls and letters, we now have technology to pester each other basically all the time. We send each other memes and jokes (an effective form of communication) constantly. There are times when he basically just seen-zones me. Teenagers. 

What I want by the end of 2020s

All in all, it was a great decade for me (and by extension, my family). I started kind of slow, then picked up in the middle and then it went really good towards the end. Like a movie that will get mixed  reviews. 

 

It was challenging, heartbreaking, and tiring work. I don’t want to hustle that hard again. 

 

Or rather, I want to do a different hustle this time, where I am thriving instead of playing catch up with everybody else. I want to get my first million dollars! My book deal! Erase the fine lines on my nasal-labial folds! My son succeeding in college!  I want it all!

 

I’m so full of enthusiasm for the 2020s, and not just because I discovered facial yoga at the start of January this year. I finally feel like a bona fide adult. You’d think that birthing a child will force you to be an adult, but you’re wrong. 

 

I started feeling the faint stirrings of adulthood when I bought my first vacuum cleaner a few years back, followed by when my ass summarily rejected wearing thong underwear a year ago. Adulthood was sealed when my body refused to accept my belly button ring without provocation after my South America trip in the middle of 2019.

 

My muses for this decade are Cardi B., for being confident of how much of a boss and rich she is (my goal is to be able to sing the Bodak Yellow lyrics “I’m rich I’m rich I’m rich” and everyone around me say, “she’s right”) and Lizzo for loving herself and embracing the queen she is. When someone tells me I’m fat, or ugly, or not smart enough, I’ll just laugh at their face. 

 

Now I’m a fully realized adult – legally and emotionally. And I have the means to support my very ambitious personal and professional goals because I’m no longer as scared as before and I have money, henny. 

 

I hope you had as awesome a decade as I did. If not, I hope you do better in the 2020s. I’m rooting for you! 

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20 Responses

  1. Very inspiring. Generational poverty is real! It’s a crucial topic that isn’t discussed more but should. Thanks for pointing that out in your blogs, and congrats for ending that in your family. That’s a lot of hard work.

    1. Thank you Chickee! I want to highlight generational poverty here because a lot of people who want to achieve financial independence are from this background. Not too many bloggers write from this perspective so I thought I’d share how I’m managing generational poverty with my goal to FIRE.

      If you’re starting from negative networth your experience is going to be totally different from somebody who’s starting from zero.

  2. Hi Katie, thank you for sharing your progress with us. Your story is very admirable and I love the idea of your blog encouraging attainment of FIRE yet you still have a strong urge to achieve your career goals first. More power to you and this blog! 😇

    1. Hi Ameena,

      I’m lucky to have a career that I like and want to do well in. I still want to get to FIRE because it will give me security and peace of mind.

      Thanks for dropping by Ameena!

  3. Great post and congrats on your progress. Question how did you go about doing this :

    A smaller portfolio of blue-chip stocks which I keep for dividends

    and also, regarding PERA do you put monthly, quarterly or yearly?

    thanks!

    1. Hi Bee,

      For the blue-chip stocks just straight up bought mine through my brokerage. But there are also preferred shares being offered at times as follow-on.

      Preferred shares are stocks that will automatically earn a fixed percentage of dividends annually.

      For PERA I invest once a year only because buying BPI PERA shares is actually a hassle for me. I either have to directly go to their main branch in Ayala or send the signed docs via DHL.

  4. thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences Katie. i had also experienced generational poverty. in fact just like you, education also has given me the door to finally exit in that kind of situation. but since the door is not fully closed, there is still the possibility of returning in the same dilemma. i am a late bloomer with regards to the FIRE movement, in fact i only encountered these concept (savings, investments, financial independence) in my late 40s. by reading your blog and watching you tube, it gave me a positive outlook in life that it is never too late to achieve these ideas/concepts. you inspire me a lot. keep on writing and inspiring. thank you. padayon!

    1. I feel you Rom. If people in who came from generational poverty are not careful, we can definitely slide back. Building a solid foundation in terms of insurance plans and emergency funds really is key, even before setting up a retirement account. *Sigh* Good luck to people like us, and nice to see you around my blog!

  5. Hi Katie! Just stumbled upon your blog today and I’m sure I’m not the only one to think you are absolutely awesome! Thank you for sharing your story to the world. Looking back, we’ve had a similar decade in the sense that I started 2010 at zero net worth, then got negative, discovered the FIRE movement and started supercharging my savings and now am squarely in positive territory. The major difference is I was immensely lucky with my family and I actually got a lot of support, both financially and emotionally, so I never had to deal with the challenges you faced. I’ve been living in the US for a few years now so I have ready access to Vanguard funds but I’ve been looking for a way to help friends and family in the Philippines find ways to invest in low cost index funds as well. I’m really glad to have found your platform.

    I do have a question for you though: Why invest in the PSEi which has such a high expense ratio, plus brokerage fees, when you can invest in international funds which contain the index plus many other developed and emerging economies? Aside from VTI, I am invested in VEU and VXUS, both Vanguard ETFs with expense ratios of 0.08 which track international stocks except for the US, and they are currently invested in at least 25 of the 30 companies in the PSEi, although Philippine stocks comprise only 0.3% of their total funds. I’m optimistic about the Philippine economy but the sociopolitical climate is concerning. I think the US and world economy overall will do very well in the long term. I just don’t know how well the Philippines will fare in comparison to other countries in the long run.

    1. JLT,

      You’re absolutely spot on with your question about why are we still invest in the PSEi.

      Personally, there are a number of reasons (which I think also applies to other Philippine-based investors): convenience. Most of the time, it’s the only equity market we have access to. Before I was able to open my TD Ameritrade account, the PSE was my only option. That’s why I really went out of my way to open an account with them and shared my experiences here in my site so that others can also have the opportunity to explore the US markets.

      Another reason is country bias.

      At the moment, I’m shifting my investing to incorporate more US and international holdings but can’t resist investing in Philippine shares. I’m a closeted optimist.

  6. “How do I feel about people who are not expected to help their families once they have jobs? Jealous.” – I can totally relate to this one! I’ve always had this thought that if only… if only i don’t need to support my family… if only i’m not the eldest child… i could have done so many other things and i wouldn’t feel so much burden and responsibilities to the point that i just want to give up sometimes. I wouldn’t lie that there are times when i feel resentment towards them. I feel as if i’m living life for my family and not for myself. But i also know that no matter what happens they are my family and i will still help them. I just try to keep a positive mindset especially now during a pandemic. That i’m in a much better position so i’m the one helping rather than the other way around.

    My parents are not really good with money and i support them fully now. They also didn’t have any savings. And I know that there are also many children out there who has to support their parents. There’s really not much we can do with that but to do better with our lives. So that in the future, we won’t suffer the same fate and our children won’t experience the same things we did. We need to put an end to this cycle of making the children the retirement plan. While I do believe that it was not their intention to do that, i just hope that the parents of this generation will be more responsible when building a family. It’s not the eldest child’s responsibility to send his siblings to school, or to support everyone else in the family, it is the parent’s responsibility to support their children.

    Anyways, i love you blog! God bless! 🙂

    1. Hi Kyoya_1123,

      Your feelings are valid and justified. People like us have a hard road ahead of us because of what we were dealt with by life. And yes, whatever resentment we fell sometimes, we will still help our families.

      Good luck and I hope that you can also build your savings and eventually even invest for your future. Glad to see you in my blog!

      KS

  7. Hi, I’ve stumbled upon your blog this week in my quest for personal finance. This blog has been so helpful. I especially like how you write, straightforward but articulate at the same time.
    I’m a 27 – year old who comes from a middle class family, and although we were not poor (or perhaps my parents did not make us feel any apprehensions growing up) , my parents are still paying off loans for a car, and maybe some other personal finance woes that I am not privvy to.
    I work as a healthcare professional in a government hospital, earning around 44k per month, much of which I started investing in our hospital’s provident fund, and I also bought FMETF shares just now. I wanted to start a PERA account too because of what I’ve read in your post and what others have said about it, but currently BDO is down. The rest of my EF is divided between CIMB and ING.

    The problem with the healthcareprofession, in my opinion, at least in the Philipppines, is that the work put in will not be commensurate to the financial payoffs. And I appreciate my work for the meaningful help I can give to people, but I also understand that money is also important.

    This is further compounded by the fact that the ROI for being a healthcare professinal will not be apparent until the time we are in middle ages.
    I want to live in security too, but the field of medicine is so specialized and time – consuming – there is little time to pursue other interests or skills, or at least relatively less time. You also don’t have an edge over others in terms of flexiblity of career options.
    I think it’s basically a gamble to invest in a different market/field this time.

    So the only I way I see me reaching better financial goals is to be follow your simple advice: find a job that will make me earn more.

    I am currently at a crossroads of considering practicing medicine abroad, or at least applying for any other countries with better healthcare systems. Maybe not permanently, but just enough to earn and save more.

    What are your thoughts on working as an expat? Does it feel as hard as some make it out to be – EMOTIONALLY and CULTURALLY?
    Thank you again for the time and effort you put in this blog. More power to you.

    1. Hi John Doe,

      I think working as a healthcare professional abroad is a great option for you. I know that the feeling of wanting to stay in the Philippines to help our poorer countrymen. I know that it’s important and we should do our part. But, we also gotta look out for ourselves. I absolutely admire those who selflessly give up their life and careers despite the low pay and the sometimes humiliating treatment. Not everyone can be that selfless and I for one am not willing to sacrifice the well-being of my family and my child to fight a systemic problem that nobody in the government is willing to address.

      Idealistic people might ask- what if everyone thinks the same way? To quote Yossarian in Catch-22: then you’ll be insane to think otherwise.

      Of course, each country has its own challenges, so adjusting depends on where you will go and admittedly, your position. As a professional in a high-status sector, you’ll most likely be treated better than non-professionals/unskilled workers.

      Good luck!

  8. “If like me you belong to a family whose members are not financially literate, you’d better monitor them like a hawk so they can’t destroy your plans and bring you down.” It could sound a bit coldhearted for others, but I really feel this. Growing up in such a family-oriented country has conditioned a lot of offspring like us to think this way. The way it never ends even after you graduate and some choices you never made still have to be paid by you haha

    I also vibed with your thoughts on those who were born more privileged. It’s not their fault, but it does wake up feelings of envy. Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot of jealousy and resentment towards them, but again I know it’s not their fault. “You don’t lose when someone else wins,” came across this quote recently and would like to know your thoughts about it. Also, how did you deal with those kinds of feelings–jealousy, resentment, fear? Did you ever feel inferior to more privileged people? If yes, how’d you handle it? If no, what was your mindset?

    Anw, I want to achieve peace of mind soon! I really liked your advice here and am inspired by your journey! Kudos for being such a strong, independent woman and really just an inspiring human being.

    1. Yes, when everyone in your family is poor and you’re their only lifeline, you need to cultivate a certain coldheartedness. For self-preservation, I’d rather not engage.

      On your question about those who were born privileged, I know that feelings of envy will be eventually unhelpful for me. I learned to channel my feelings into more productive personal pursuits. Of course, I still dislike those who were born into wealth as a result of their ancestor’s exploitation of the poor, especially those who are unapologetic. I have no compunction in saying that those people are gross.

      I don’t feel inferior compared to privileged people because I’m absolutely sure that if I had their advantages, I’d achieve more than they would, if I haven’t already (confidence level = 1000+ hahahaha).

      Best,

      KS

  9. Thank you for posting this content out there. So much value. Can I just ask for advice?

    “If like me you belong to a family whose members are not financially literate, you’d better monitor them like a hawk so they can’t destroy your plans and bring you down. ”

    For context, I’m a 29/F architect with a partner, who has EF (180k) built up and health insurance, rest of my portfolio – in stocks, MP II, FMETF, PERA) no children yet. I have a monthly net of 40k, around half of which I get to save. I have one younger sister. My sister still lives at home, continuing online college schooling. My parents don’t ask for money regularly, but occasionally they do.

    Few months ago, my younger sister messaged me that finances at home are problematic, and they talked it out. My father is 48/M but currently doesn’t have work due to the pandemic, and my mother (51/F) earns 140 k gross but due to car insurance, housing loans, and personal debt, her net is just 30k. My father also plans to make a loan for a business, but my mother has advised her against it since, good on her part.

    I’ve been working in Manila for the past 5 years with one more year left in my contract. I can support myself, and have been saving up, with plans of marrying in the near future and starting a family.

    On top of that, my father has heart disease and if ever he needs a procedure done, it will be a big financial blow to us for which we are not prepared. He has Philhealth, I’m not certain if he has private health insurance aside from that, but I know he has HMO only. I’ve been practicing premeditating adversity – and keep on asking myself – what if my father or mother gets hospitalized? Up to what capacity can I/should I help, financially? I hope it doesn’t come off as nonchalant that I’m measuring it in that context, but it’s a reality that I’m trying to have the proper mindset to.

    And they’ve been having marital problems pre – pandemic, so there’s that too. I’ve already scouted for a marriage counselor, but one of them is not yet too keen on the idea.

    I know a lot of the problems above are not supposed to be my problems. That’s why it’s so conflicting because I want to help them too, but at the same time I don’t want to be tied down by their previous financial decisions and personal problems. Up to the point of wanting to make them a lecture on personal finance, because I can’t/haven’t gone home yet due to COVID. I do my best to help my parents with their consults, coordinating their online consultations and such. I don’t want my help to just be chipping in on expenses. Kasi band – aid solution lang un. Gusto ko sana maplan out nila kung paano nila babayaran ung mga utang, but I’m not sure if they even have/make time for that, or know how to begin.

    My parents are good people in the sense that they don’t demand anything back, or expect anything from me right now. But I feel like it’s just poor financial decisions on top of another that we weren’t privvy to, growing up. I asked my mother the other week if they have an EF and they said that they don’t.

    How did you confront your family with their finances? What were your experiences? Any tips or advise on how to approach? Thank you for your time.

    1. Hi Ms B,

      First of all, congratulations on being on top of your finances! You’re off to a great start.

      Regarding your family, I think that you should focus on the aspects where you can help: make sure that your parents’ Philhealth memberships are active. Do they have SSS/GSIS? Check what HMO coverage they have. Ask them to have regular check ups to avoid any medical emergencies. Have you asked your parents about their plans on how they will pay for any medical emergencies? If they have no plans now, encourage them to set aside a portion of their own money specifically for medical emergencies.

      It’s great that they are not yet expecting anything from you at this time and that they are open to your suggestions. Nudge them towards putting money towards their savings and snowball their debts. I wrote about snowballing debt here: https://katiescarlettneedsmoney.com/how-to-achieve-a-total-money-makeover-in-the-philippines/

      You have to understand that you’re not the savior of everybody. You can only do so much. Like I said, if you let them, your less financially responsible family can and will pull you down. I’m not saying it’s their fault, but that’s how it is. Set boundaries or you will drown with them. If you want, you can also set aside a portion of your EXTRA income for medical emergencies or add your father to your HMO coverage (if possible).

      About your parents’ marital problems, I know it sucks. But unfortunately, there’s only so much you can do for them. You already did more than your part by suggesting and looking for a marriage counselor; the ball is in their court. It’s not the responsibility of children to keep the family’s peace.

      Focus on yourself for now and set boundaries in terms of how much you’ll help your family if or when emergency comes. Help your parents as much as you can by advising them on their health coverage and debt.

      I hope this helps and good luck!

      Katie Scarlett

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